Fakeaways – Part Two

Doner Kebab

Oh yes, we went there. And this was actually the easiest of all the fakeaway dishes to make. It was so scarily like the shaven-elephant-leg-at-2am staple that we felt a bit weird testing it on Friday lunchtime, without several pints beforehand.

But once you’re over the context shift, it’s actually a not-so-guilty pleasure – spiced, garlicky lamb mince, slow cooked and then seared and served with salad and homemade flatbreads. Yep, we said it: the kebab is basically a health food.

This spicing will make it taste just like the stuff from a takeaway; feel free to fancy it up with fresh herbs, fennel seeds, paprika or whatever else takes your fancy.

Donner kebab

Serves 8

Kebab meat

1kg lamb mince

1 ½ tsp garlic powder

1tsp salt

½ tsp onion powder

1tbsp cumin

Plenty of black pepper



Cabbage and onion salad

1 small red cabbage, finely shredded

1 red onion, finely shredded

1 fennel bulb, finely shredded

2 carrots, grated

1tbsp mustard

1 lemon, juice of

½ tsp fine sea salt

Black pepper, to taste

Flat breads, pickles, chillies, lemon wedges and yoghurt to serve

For the kebab meat:

Heat the oven to 130°C.  Combine all ingredients in a food mixer and pulse a few times until thoroughly combined – don’t just leave the machine running or the mix will be far too sticky. Alternatively you can work the mix in a large bowl with your hands, squashing everything together to make a uniform texture. Shape the mix into a fat, little kebab shape (just like the ones you see on spits in a kebab shop, not that we’d know, of course), pressing quite firmly to keep it compact. Roll this in a large piece of cling film to further compact and shape the mix, before removing the clingfilm and wrapping tightly in tin foil. Place on a roasting tray and roast for 2 ½ hours, rotating a quarter turn every 45 minutes or so. Allow to rest for 20 minutes before carving.


Simply mix everything well in a bowl, and leave to stand for an hour. Taste before serving and adjust the seasoning as necessary.

To assemble, first carve the kebab meat by using a sharp knife to shave long strips off. At this point you can drop it into a hot frying pan with a little oil to brown it a little, but you don’t have to. Stuff pitta breads with kebab meat, salad and whatever pickles, chillies and sauces take your fancy, and dig in.